Yale: The School for Microtards



Trigger Warnings

Safe Place

Apparently, all of you are familiar with these words/phrases. Here’s one that might come in handy as you righteously condemn the culturally ignorant and volitional evil-doers who frighten you so much: Critical Thinking.

Before I provide you with the meaning of critical thinking and the value that it should have in your everyday life, I feel obligated to point out the limitations and fatal flaws of post-modernism as a cultural phenomenon. As some of you may know, post-modernism is the ideological zeitgeist that replaced modernism. The single biggest difference between the two is the “narrative of the community” v. “the narrative of self”. In the modernist context, we identify as members of a larger group before, or as being more important than identifying as an individual. Thus, the modernist might say, “You can’t judge us”, while the post-modernist might say, “You can’t judge me”. This statement is predicated on the assumption (and it fucking well is an assumption) that I don’t know enough about you, your collective past, or your core values, attitudes and beliefs that would allow me to make accurate statements, or develop tenable opinions about you. If this is true, or at least true in your myopic worldview, then judgment must be withheld from everyone about everyone. Put another way,  you ardently seek a state of social anarchy, as this is the only logical end game of post-modern social philosophy…and yet you don’t seek anarchy. You seek to create a world that was originally imagined by Orwell, and no one would ever accuse him of writing transcendentally joyous rhetoric.

You’re at least bright enough to understand that having no system of codified rules would result in a quick and decisive eradication of you. No one likes an asshole. No one likes a whiner. No one is willing to suffer an asshole whiner for any longer than is absolutely necessary. Consequently, you would be the first to go. Ironically, you would probably cull yourselves from the herd because you’re so in love with the concept of your own narrative and being right. Your “safe place” would cease to exist, and you would be victims of “macroaggression” from the the betas with whom you currently associate.  That’s the fatal flaw of post-modernism: everything is right, so nothing is right; everyone is special, so no one is special; accepting everything (everyone) is tantamount to accepting nothing and no one.

Critical thinking is probably the one thing that keeps us, be that a community or a country, from imploding as a result of ideological genocide, which is precisely what you are attempting to impose. An extremely abbreviated description of critical thought is one’s ability to use inductive and deductive reasoning as a starting point in attempting to find truth to the extent that said truth can be defined. Critical though also involves the ability  to  objectively analyze information, to use your analysis with a definable and defendable intent or purpose, to be open to a) new ideas and b) the possibility that you might be wrong, and an allegiance to authenticity. It would never occur to adherents of critical thought to brainstorm words and phrases that might, under the perfect circumstances, be considered acts of microaggression because they are authentic people. This means that they have deep understanding of who they are and who they are not. Thus, words, no matter how toxic they may be, have an element of truth or are wildly inaccurate. In either case, the critical thinker sees an opportunity to be better at something or immediately dismisses what is heard because it completely fails to characterize them in any meaningful way. This is an important concept you might want to try really, really hard to understand. Words are only as (insert your adjective of choice) as you allow them to be. To feel hurt, marginalized, mistreated, or misunderstood are all choices you make of your own volition (no one forced you to feel these things).You could choose other emotional responses if you actually believed that other people are not in control of how your mind operates. Put simply, this infant-like insistence that no one should be allowed to hurt your feelings is actually a declarative, articulated by you, that tells the world that you would prefer that others live your life for you.

To build, staff, and appoint a Dean of Culture and Diversity is a statement of the University that language is more important that behavior. As a psychologist, I could not give less of a shit about what people say. My job is to determine whether or not the language and the behavior are consistent. Behavior doesn’t lie, so if there are inconsistencies between language and behavior, I will always focus on the behavior. Yale has demonstrated that it will consistently do the opposite. Thus, Yale is the new home for the Microtard; a place that embraces the fallacy of language as truth, and also a place that willfully dismisses behavior as having no real value or meaning.

Real life in the real world is a conveyor belt of judgment, emotional decision making, cronyism, heuristics (snap judgments made through ones own cultural lenses…meaning they tend to be pretty fucking inaccurate), manipulation, and rabid self-promotion. It isn’t fair, it isn’t pretty, and it has been this way as far back as our species has existed. You have two choices: Choice one is to know who you are based on constant and objective self-assessment, roll with the critical rhetoric directed toward you, find your niche and comfort zone, and then crush that shit. Choice two is to roll over, let the world tell you who you are, feel miserable, cheated, and -angry, blame everyone but yourself for what you perceive as failures, and whine until you die. Apparently, Yale prefers choice number two, and encourages its students to step in line and prefer the same. Ivy League my ass. I know 8th grade dropouts with far more refined cognitive skill sets and self-awareness than anything Yale proposes to offer in those areas.



To the President of Yale.

Read a decent book on basic fucking leadership, take careful notes, and then force yourself to try make real some of the concepts covered within the text. Any dipshit can be a “yes-man”. You will probably really piss off some people in your attempt to be a leader. That is an inevitability. If you strive for more than mediocrity, and you have the sack to stick with it, you might actually succeed in living up to what’s in your job description. If you’d like some help with this, please feel free to contact me at any time.


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